did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
