69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
