quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
