....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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