I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
