He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
