I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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