Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
