I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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