Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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