Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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