Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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