No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
