dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
