So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
