the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
did i walk over a car last night?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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