roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
