The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
