Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
