It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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