have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
