Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
