on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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