summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
