You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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