i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
