The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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