WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
