Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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