Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
