Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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