The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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