I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
