Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Randomize
