It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She even gives head with a lisp.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
