proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Please don't give away my fajitas
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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