I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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