shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
