Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
