I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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