with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
