Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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