I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
