Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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