She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
