You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
