She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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