the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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