And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
