I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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