i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
sex in a hospital.. check
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
